WHat to do when you don’t like what you see…
Whenever I work with someone regarding their weight, the elephant in the room is actually body image. Its important to note that how a person feels about their body will wax and wane with age, hormones, stress, exposure to media, and interpersonal relationships. So, if you’re having a difficult time with body image, know that its ok. Everyone will have a period that their relationship with how they look is strained. Lets talk about some tips and opportunities for growth.
When someone is struggling with body image, the usual reaction I see is one of weight loss or ‘toning up’. They say things like “I’m going to hit the gym” or “I’m going to try that new diet”. And now I know what you’re thinking, ‘that only works for a short time and then they give up.’ Yes, but what if that drive to ‘do something about it’ isn’t all that bad. Maybe its a lovely thing, just mis-directed. Let me explain.
The reason I talk about this with clients is because it drives so many of their behaviours with food. Most people I work with are looking for control. They want a sense of drive and control. We often misdirect that desire for control through our food or our bodies because of two reaons:
its socially acceptable to dislike ourselves
when aspects of our lives feel out of control, our body feels like its something we can actually control.
So we create motivation to hit the gym and give ourselves a set of rules for eating. This helps us feel safe. And for a time….it can really work. We feel great about what we’re doing and when we see a bit of success and people comment on our changing bodies or lifestyle it rewards us to keep doing it. So how and where does this mentality fall down and how can we adjust it for the long run.
This mentality goes off track when a life event happens. An event comes along and knocks us out of our routine. For example, we’re doing great going to the gym and trying our new diet (insert Keto, Intermittent Fasting, Raw Food), and then we go on holiday for 2 weeks and suddenly our routine is gone. Or we enter into a stressful period at work which causes us to work more hours and feel mentally drained when we get home. There goes our motivation to go the gym. And slowly… bit by bit….we fall back into our old more comfortable ways. And with it comes a sense of personal failure.
So lets talk about some tips that actually work, both for helping re-adjust your sense of body image and manage emotions over the long haul.
Commitment to yourself: make 1, and just 1 thing, everyday that is a commitment for yourself. This could be as big as going to the gym or it could be as small as sitting somewhere for 10 minutes doing a meditation or reading your book. But make it and keep it!
Movement you enjoy: hitting the gym is great IF you enjoy it. Most people workout from a sense of shame. Its to work on an aesthetic or burn calories for something you’ve already eaten or want to eat. Instead - lets find the movement that feels good in your body. Maybe thats running or doing weights, but listen to your thoughts. Where do you thoughts go when you do that activity. For example, when I do weights my thoughts often drift to aesthetic I’m trying to achieve (i.e. tricep dips for bat wings). Or do your thoughts go to how strong you feel, how much more you can lift, or an intense concentration on form. Whatever activity you find - be it weights, running, yoga, zumba - when you find what you enjoy, then its more likely to stay part of your routine. So what’s your movement happy place?
Hobbies/Interests: this is usually one of the first things to go when we are time poor or just poor poor. We focus so much on our responsibilities and obligations that we forget about what brings us joy. Engaging in your hobbies/interests makes you a happier and often a calmer person. When you’re body’s parasympathetic nervous system kicks in (the one that calms us down) we enter situations with more energy and creative thought. Believe me, it will make you better at your responsibilities/obligations. Don’t believe me - try it.
Get into nature: get outside during daylight and feel some fresh air into your lungs. Spend time doing something or going somewhere that gives you a sense of ‘awe’. Some people get this through spiritual means or their church activities. Others get this by going into nature and experiencing a sense a perspective. When we are surrounded by more space (literally), we often develop more space within ourselves to house our emotions and concerns.
Keep regular meals: when we get out of routine, its tempting to develop a grazing pattern. Try to focus on having 3 meals per day (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Try not to place any rules on what to eat/how much to eat. Let the action of having 3 regular meals per day help provide that bit of foundation for you to get through your day. When your body is fuelled at CONSISTENT times, it helps us regulate hormones, sleep, and metabolism.
It should be said that the tips above will help anyone because they are all forms of self-care. However, if you find yourself repeatedly feeling low or a sense of ‘unworthiness’ then please reach out to your GP or a psychologist. It can be important to get outside help during these periods.
